I don’t normally post things of this nature (at least on this blog) but feel an inner urging in my heart to share this bit of Truth today.
For the past few years I have struggled in my faith, questioning it, rolling it around in my heart, testing to see if real. If its true. There have been a lot of times when I’ve cried out and have heard nothing in response other than deafening quiet, an overwhelming silence that pulled me deeper into despair. There have been times when I wondered the deplorable “what ifs”:
What if I wasn’t around.
What if I could be finished, let the pain subside.
What if I just ended it all.
And it was during those very difficult moments that I struggled to contain my grip on the quickly unraveling thread of hope that God is real. That He indeed loved me. That the circumstances I found myself in weren’t of Him being a cruel and merciless God, but that they’d shape me, little by little, until further down the road I could see the impression He did in that moment of my life. Where I’d be able to see where He’s brought me, what He pulled me out of. Where I’d be able to see His caring heart in those moments.
Sometimes, the darkness is so incredibly overwhelming.
Sometimes, the despair is so deep you ache to pull air into your lungs.
Sometimes, the only thing you can do is cry and whisper “Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.” over and over and over again.
Whatever circumstance you’re facing, whatever situation you find yourself in, please hold on to that thread of hope. Grasp it for all you’ve got left. I promise that God is more than holding you. He’s cradling you to Him, even when your heart and thoughts are heavy. Even when it feels you are more lonely, more saddened, more desperate than you’ve ever known.
He. Is. There.
And, He loves you for everything you are.
For He satisfies the longing soul,
and the hungry soul he fills with good things.